Red

The New Farm Coles often hosts social events in the Canned Vegetable aisle. This cramps my loner lifestyle. I don't like bumping into people, I can't help but check out what's in their basket and it's often quite disgusting. So many people I know buy canned tuna. Tuna, for one, is the pigeon of the sea. Canned tuna, two, is... I don't know but anyway.
So I choose to go to Coles 15 minutes before closing time. It's empty- the party's over and there are no queues at the registers. Tonight I thought I made it but then... I ran into the worst possible person- Funny Face.
I have been seeing him for a month until last night when I sent him an SMS, "I need some time alone, and lots of it". (Ah, SMS. Keeping in touch without keeping in touch.) You see, he's a lot like me and I don't like that. There can only be one Me. Especially when I'm around. What was he doing shopping at Coles 15 minutes before closing time and in a red shirt like I was? And he was shopping for salad like I was going to but, being a girl, I changed my mind and shopped for soup instead.
At the register after he paid, his change was $11.80. He instructed the check out chief to just give him $11. Not understanding this, he still gave Funny Face the $11.80 to which Funny Face replied, "Do you have a tip jar?".
Yes, well...
FF walked me to the corner of my street and then it was a "No soup for you" moment so he walked on home. And here I am in peace and quiet with Blue Cheese Tomato & Garlic soup and Cabernet Merlot. I added a splash of worcestershire sauce and tabasco and 2 shakes of celery salt for that Bloody Mary effect. I rate my Soup five stars and the wine (Penfolds Koonunga Hill Cabernet Merlot) one and a half stars. It tastes watered down and the Prohibition is over! Well, you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. In this case, monkeys' piss.